January 2012
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My mind seems to be separated from everyone else. The first one to see the sun rise and set, how luminance of the moon isn’t bright enough for shadows darkness when others rest upon soft mattresses. Floating in a space that doesn’t exist for any human eye to see; stuck in between the invisible air and some sort of dimension of pure serenity. After a while I tend to forget where I am...
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It’s always those midnight reflections that leave me thinking about so many possibilities and etc. Something about the calm stillness in the atmosphere keeps me calm and tuned in to all
those lingering thoughts. I never question how night brings about all these open minded ideas and takes them into consideration. Sure enough I won’t be induced to intense thinking, instead considering...
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I’ve talked about shadows and how they watch me sleep once the moon hovers above. How my eyes have seen nights pass by like seconds when they can’t close shut to see a different ominous dark, but leads into a surreal world. It’s as if it all makes me envision what it wants me to see rather than opening up gallons of paint and throwing it all on canvases in order to paint a whole...
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What’s the worth trying to dig underneath the floorboards where I buried memories six feet under. So much is spent watching black ink drip as it scribbles across fine lines of paper—I could write about how my mind was five years ago, or let it all sink in but never turns into a complete thought. Evidently those ghost written memories find their way through open cracks; a cloud of smoke...
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All I do is ignore how the hands of time echoes as it hangs on the wall; my eyes watching how it rotates in a constant cycle. Father time looking down at me when he puts free time right in front of my eyes; my expressionless face gazing in between the air and time where he sits in his control room. The thing is he can’t tell the meaning of why I stare at one of his dispirited copied clocks...
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Freedom enlightening a state of mind, but it seems that my mind doesn’t state the free soul sounds within the radius of my dome. Apparently my free dome above my cranium doesn’t reach out to the infinite knowledge that surrounds me—not turning my attention a full rotation beyond the finer things in which remain invisible behind normality. I twirl around the ideal words of what the...
Vibrant sounds began to pound against my eardrums, but as time flew by slowly, the sounds started to become clearly. Pulling my skin from the tip of my fingers; night already had me trapped with all the other marauders that wonder aimlessly under orange street lights. I played with the warm visible air exhaling from my lungs, twirling it in circles as it evaporated in the distant, cold air.
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I keep my mind trapped in a box on top of my shelf; so much is indulged that I tend to separate myself from it until it’s safe to think again. Although it’s never safe when infinite amount of ideas and thoughts find their ways into my mind, and out of no where i’m stuck thinking about it. Right when the box is closed shut all the voices that echoed were completely silent for the...
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Nothings moves me or makes me look the other way on what I already know of myself; everyday something new changes and i’ll agree that it will get my attention and think otherwise. I lose count on how many times my mind malfunctions over thoughts that come and go, but after a point it tunes out so I can feel relaxation. Once the faded images around clouds and echoes from loud alarm clocks...
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Shuffling on bed sheets for just one comfortable position that feels right. Toss and turn underneath a thick blanket adding to it with warmth, but it doesn’t feel right when my body always ends up towards the ceiling. All the warmth and turning leaves me staring at the clock, hoping these eye lids miraculously close behind blinds of eye lashes into a bright morning. Time passes by and...
mmmelissa:
I would trade iPhones, video chatting, the internet— all of those technological privileges we have today to live in the 80s. I would give up the ease and convenience of Microsoft office for typewriters. Instead of a tumblr, I’d have a scrapbook or diary. I would without question give up being able to save a million images on my computer for polaroids and even disposable cameras. I’d...
I wonder if these walls get tired of my presence, as much as me being tired of staring at the familiar color of beige. Enclosing the fresh breath of air that flows within my lungs and embracing warmth against my face from the sun. The sounds of solitude begin to feel repetitive; slowly does still movements and melancholy ticking sound break the silence all together. I stare at each wall...
This so-called wheel will always be turning no matter what, even on my bad day. Time won’t stop for no one or give the time of day for one single person; a chain would react to be fair to others that share the same clock. Minutes and seconds pass by where two damns aren’t given, even if it’s imaginary for our eyes to see.
The hands of time will always be ticking until the...
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I have so many things that I want to get off my chest, even if it’s turning myself upside down and pouring my mind out. The color of beige carpet covered in a spew of my own mess; I tend to clean up the mess or it indulges the words that were trapped. All the sounds of my voice vibrate and ricochet against each wall, creating holes and ruining the paint. It’s as if they take in more of...
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It came to a point where night feels like day to me. The only difference is that a constant light rises and falls; bright vibrant rays over shining and a grey, luminescent figure that draws peace in the atmosphere. My mind is drawn to both their feel where everything is separated between a fine line on what needs to be thought about. But as I became the spoke on the wheel of time, it dawned on me...
I use to be admired by how the sky looks and the mixture of colors behind the sun as it rises on the horizon. Lately my eyes have been awakened when all that is past my sight and the rays sneak through my blinds and wake me up. The cold mornings always woke me up—hands pressing against the window as the temperature drops and gust of winds blow leaves across the pavements. Little things that...
It’s always here, this time of day where everything seems to be clear to me. Maybe these thoughts are in touch with the significance of luminescent stars and solitude in the atmosphere. Even though it’s intact to night, it leaves me feeling restless and struggling underneath blankets. The further hours go more things tend to make sense until sun rays rise and stars disappear; I never...
Everyone is never happy. There’s never a time where we feel content with our life and the limits are met; we’re always wanting more to feel satisfied. But we already have a roof over our head, clothes, family and friends that love us, when in reality it’s beyond all the sure things.
The thing is, why do we constantly want more just to feel happy when it’s not enough?...
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I know the clock is always ticking, and it can’t be replaced to benefit myself of my own decisions. Nothing will change; no hands on the clock will be mixed or minutes and seconds will miraculously stop and turn back time just for me. But what I do is just constantly stare at it, wasting that precious time pressing the glass from my wrist watch against my ear. I’m already too far gone...
Inhale; my words start to feel vague, bitter as they constantly spew out with a lot of thought given. To some sort of sense I can feel the weight after they escape my mind—it’s as if it just floats like smoke and disappears in the air. I don’t know why these thoughts grab a hold of my attention when it’s looking the other way, trying to see the darkness of closed eye lids....
yall:
Saying “how can you be sad when people have it so much worse than you” is as ridiculous as “how can you be happy when people have it so much better than you”
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I know all the time I have should be occupied and productive, instead filling my head with so much thoughts that leave me unsure about myself. So much needs to be done and building that assurance I once had but one after another I lose interest in those exact things that kept me sane and intact with reality. The swift wind cutting against my face as I bike down streets—that feeling kept me...
I’ve grown to fond to the aroma of coffee floating around the house and sun shining through the slits of my blinds in the early morning. Something about radiant rays warming up my body and scanning outside leaves me in serenity; eased against the cushion of pillows as the coffee warms my stomach. I need that moment where breaths are refreshing and for a second dead weight is lifted off my...
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Anonymous asked: i've got a tricky question for you. do you think man creates art for art sake or money sake?
My mind seems to always feel over whelmed and restless at night with so much being thought about. It’s not always pure positivity, then I wouldn’t be stuck gazing at complete darkness out my window. At times I don’t know about myself and feel self-pity when I really shouldn’t. I think it’s the consistency of being awake when my body should be at ease and under...
At night my imagination runs into the depths of my mind and two worlds diverge between reality and distant dreams. It’s hard to believe what’s true when they’re mixed together and I can’t tell them apart. I separate them and never lose sight on the truth and figment images of late night dreaming. But my dreams are more alike to the real world, just a few ironic twists and...
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The questions that are constantly being repeated in my mind are where am I going to go with my life. Sure it can go any way at this point since i’m still young and there’s more to learn; i’m the type of person that thinks way over the limit, but nothing seems to move me. Being in the same position watching others escape the confined walls of solitude as they find themselves. I...
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Personally or just coming to some sort of conclusion that’s not truly right, I lack so many things that keep me happy. I’ve grasped so many ideal and tangible things in which it personifies in one way or another contentment until the length washes out. A few years ago I wouldn’t say I was in the same position and nights would be spent over viewing my life and what feels off. But...
Time use to tell me everything; the loud ticks as the hands of time passed by and the sun rose and slept while the moon played its midnight role. But now it feels as if time stretched itself to make me unaware of where I stand and forbidding to give me a time of day. Shattered glass from my wrist watch bursting in the air as it scatters along the rock hard pavements. A shock leaving me confused...
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After a certain point, it’s hard to find the words and pick out what i’m trying to say. Too many times I struggle as my head aches from words floating and bumping into each other—unorganized and being tangled into a knot so nothing really makes sense when I try to make out the words in explanation. I’ve written down so many words and so endless stories; the sleepless nights just...
Every year has a different feel to it. So much is expected from what’s to come that nothing hasn’t happened yet and things aren’t going out as planned. I don’t even expect a lot out of an extended time line where things can change.
After a while, I stopped making a new year more than it is. Spending so much time thinking turns my perspective in different directions....
December 2011
I feel as if I’m beginning to fully understand everything, but it’s only the start of it all.
This year was a year where a lot of realization struck my mind like a bolt of lightning.
I wonder if any of the so-called lessons that I’ve thought of will eventually be applied to later on in life. Too many come and go and I don’t keep track of all these ideas when so much is going on. My mind feeling overwhelmed with all these understandings; funny that some don’t even make one sense but it finds its way into my mind.
Everyday is constantly thinking and pointing...
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In time, all this realization will dawn on me. But for now all this thinking, all these thoughts being pondered on is making me tired. There is so much my mind can take until I feel restless; losing track of what’s already been thought of and repeating constant cycles. I’m only trying to separate my mind from reality and inner thoughts that keep me off track. It’s only at night...
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I find myself always improving in some way, but in the worst case scenarios. Sometimes it’s not even those times where i’m focused; not even paying attention or doing something else when a sudden thought rushes through my mind. No matter what, it’s always leading to midnight massacres of late night thinking that kills the time I should be sleeping. Eventually i’m one of...