May 2012
The sound barriers of blacked out paint walls haven’t echoed my voice back into my head lately. I’ve closed the blinds to ignore the moon rotating across the pure black sky. All I do is feel up the emptiness of a dark room with an empty mind until each eye lid feels heavy enough to endure slumber. My perception of the night and everything as a whole suddenly shifted where things have a...
jonathanpham:
Explaining your own sadness to people is like trying to teach a cat how to bark. It’s damn near impossible. The only time sadness makes sense is when you’re alone: saturday night in an empty theatre, driving in the car listening to the rain pound the window, or at a desolate restaurant—table for one, please. At times it can be unbearable. We are human after all. But in time you...
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It’s hard not to stare at the purity of nights overwhelming sky and wrap words around my mind. I feel as if the efforts to consume thoughts from a jaded conscience when I find myself staring in the dark is the only time where everything remains still. There hasn’t been any high peaks or low points that really put me in place and find some cynical attitude to wake up to the next...
It’s been a while since my mind circulated around the open air to inhale the fresh breath of air and open up the cob webbed cranium that has only witnessed the after hour scenery. It seemed vaguely understanding to conjure up infinite thoughts when the moon would move along the pure dark abyss. But now I find it a tad bit unnecessary to dig up words to ponder about when the attentions of...
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It seems funny to me, how night consumed my entire conscience as i’m left starring in pure black stillness that surrounds my room. But as nights role on and the moon continues to rotate, my perception of marauder thoughts began to change the outlook of how after hours should be spent. The moon still casts shadows of nearby tree branches that sway back and forth across the rough carpet floor....
April 2012
I can’t seen to stop tapping my mind into the overall feeling of the pureness of night. My mind doesn’t really pay attention to lingering thoughts when there’s a lot more than just pondering on mental ideals underneath tiny luminescent stars that I constantly count. Night is the perfect time for me to find clarity when life remains still when each passing moon rotates in the...
It’s either the sun-kissed rays that warm my skin, or darkness engulfing the once blue skies bringing out the lively nature of humanity. But I always wait for the essence to shut down and watch shadows make there way across each plastered wall. Every night becomes a blur with trying to remember each thought that had me in the middle of conjuring answers for myself to understand, but always...
I watch rain pour rapidly as they fill up potholes in the ground. Drops of water slowly falling from the top of my window crashing into other drops as it grows significantly larger until it disperses at the bottom. I always found rain in a form of clarity that tries to make sense in myself among patches of dark clouds blocking the luminescent moon in the sky that kept me in touched with its...
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This whole thing is starting to go in a circle of me laying helplessly, hoping my eyes will finally shut and wake up feeling restless to the same situation. I don’t get how I can repeatedly go through with all this and still feel at peace; maybe it’s the complete silence that keeps me in place. It all starts to bottle up as my body constantly moves in order to feel comfortable on a...
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I continuously count the time on my finger tips to keep track of sanity, making sure night doesn’t tamper with its conscience. Once the light dims and black shadows eat away the plastered light that shines on creme paint, my corpse lays still while it engulfs the sense of swaying silhouette trees and deaths sound of silence that eats away my eardrums.
The voice that conjures up reasonings...
My mind has yet opened up the pure realization of this world and all the lively beings that continue to aimlessly walk covered grounds. Usually the settings upon growing thoughts happen when lights are dimmed and my body is laying on soft sheets and hoping I suddenly fall in the back of my head where dreams create surreal visions.
That’s the thing, I don’t recognize the obvious...
I spilled out bitter thoughts across the floor from my cerebellum trying to make sense from unclear thoughts. I’ve escaped words trying to float by and create a chain of ideals that would keep me awake during nights morning; glimpsing dark skies through nocturnal eyes while I hid underneath pillow sheets to envision surreal dreams. Silencing inner conscious voices that echo amongst pure...
March 2012
Maybe there’s a lot of weight to what these words have to say; echoing as they break these four plastered walls that have witnessed and indulged my stream of spoken thoughts. I’ve stared into depths of pure darkness just to find clarity and stillness for once—only being awake when life seems to drift off is where I excel by understanding myself with the sound of tranquility filling the...
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It’s funny how I leave all these words to think about as they boil up and I force myself to ponder about them. I’ve even come to a conclusion that there isn’t even anything to think about-that I’m just blowing everything into proportions and making matters seem worse.
Blind as I lose sight of myself with words that try to carry weight but don’t mean anything like...
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His presence uplifted once lively humanity slept and night became pure. Conjuring infinite amounts of hopeless ideals that would make sense, but just left him regurgitating it all for another night of reassurance that would get him no where. Each eyelid became heavy and tired of staring into complete darkness instead of enduring his stream of unconsciousness with surreal visions that took...
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As time turns with silhouette images of tree branches swaying back and forth from the luminescent moon shining in the pitch black sky, my body still lays awake with nights presence outside the window. I loathed being up after hours as hours and minutes seemed endless without being able to shut each eyelid completely and endure pure stillness on cotton pillow sheets. Rambling in the ominous room...
I haven’t really focused my attentions on myself. It’s mainly towards waking up in order to at least start off somewhere and end up underneath the black sheet of dark distant skies my eyes look out to when closing them isn’t all that easy to do.
Less words pile up for me to ponder over and serenity fills up the empty, thoughtless mind so more mornings aren’t spent dreading...
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The nights that are spent where I can’t sleep is starting to kill my mentality. I’m left to the point where I don’t want to understand nonsense thoughts that try to move me.
All of this is becoming just a cycle I can’t seem to find my way out of. Days will move forward and time will continue to turn on wrist watches; it never gave me the time of day or stopped for me in...
Once the sun rises along the inferno sky line, my body awakens as it tries to readjust stiff bones and rubbing away what already is a forgettable dream. Peripheral visions still blurry as they are also adjusting when the bright lights of bathroom light bulb watts shine; blinded like staring at the sun but seemingly unexpected with my body unaware with being half dead from being tuned out in an...
A leftover of tasteless food for thought that lacks bitter or sweet for my tongue to taste; a sense to understand for me to indulge knowledge. But I have to know in between the lines and words that speak fluently-spoken word with a microphone against my heart. Is it mind over matter, or brain over heart, listening to two voices solving for the same situation but taking different paths to...
My eyes scatter on the pixels of defined objects around me. Not to sure if the pure reality that surrounds me is just a figment in which these same eyes disguise something with a greater value. Breaking apart bits of pieces down into sections where my understandings can be sure that I see what others see, and not just a blanket of hope covered for their eyes. Seeing the vibrant movement in between...
jonathanpham:
Yuna | Coffee
It all starts out with a small cloud of unassured reflection, or my eyes being caught in a direction far sighted to be blurry as it’s hard to adjust the peripherals and understand one ideal concept. How far can a single thought move me to the point where I can’t seem to fathom my own creation of words. Lost as the cat caught the native tongue tying it in a knot as it leaves me...
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It felt easy enough to express words along printed lines as ink dripped from tips of pens. But after a while the capacity of thoughts starts to drop and pure ideas are mixed in with the last few drops of ink until it fades and invisible ghost written fills up empty spaces. Staring more into a complete blank space where dust begins to form like a desert of nothingness. Once the pen dried up, so did...
I press play. The endless sounds of infinite music drown my ears euphorically as it becomes the soundtrack once my feet step outside the door and feel spring breeze against my skin. Scrolling pass artists for a particular sound that defines the scenery these peripherals stare at; the missing piece for natures sweet, soulful sound. A blessing to ears as the bass of each earphone pounds against my...
February 2012
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She had an incredible wordplay. Having a way with words that moved minds through an eloquent voice; soothing, how her soft voice became a midnight melody next to the presence of luminescent stars scattered across the distant sky. The words circled around my cranium imagining her voice tare apart words and reconstruct them into a entirely different perspective. A true native tongue that speaks...
The slow hesitation of vibrations that moves the air remains still. All the tree branches stop swaying back and forth as leaves fall into little piles across fresh cut grasses. My eyes are caught in the middle of spaceish consciousness and the white cotton clouds that would move slower once a second would pass on wrist watches. Too focused on nothing that the smoke from a once hot coffee died down...
I question my mind, in general to it’s complexity of knowledge. But I reassure that nothing that evolves into a thought is complex, more simplistic with a twist in a sense it’s all to make me believe in something. Not knowing the difference between surreal dreams and basic reality when they intertwine, making unusual a common thing.
Maybe it’s the only answer I come up with...
Nowadays I can’t seem to tell the difference between the days that pass by. The feeling my body wakes up with becomes well aware of everything or is just set at a steady pace. The spew of words that float out of my mouth into a formation of oxygen is starting to become repetitive; turning cycle of taking in the same words I let out for relief back into my lung passages. After a while I...
I don’t take in consideration to every single sprout of a thought seriously at times.
Too many ideas are created in just a day and they all come and go alike the bystanders that walk along sidewalks. A body with an idea but faceless; I’ll only know a few things but will never go into depth of an explanation or realization.
Some may grasp my brain and take notice when everything...
My eyes took a break from indulging the atmosphere night provided for me when I passed the midnight mark. Being inside the conscious mind under the pillow was missed as it carried the surreal dreams once they weighed on each strand of cotton. All of that was missed until I saw pure darkness; closed eye lids from dimmed lights that tuned out the watts inside a bulb to surround it with a different...
I avoided mirrors to see my reflection; not trying to stare into the reality that seemed totally different than what I envisioned in my mind. More often i’ve stared out the window and became in tuned with the wind as it blows and travels through city streets and neighborhoods. Breathing in grateful liberation as it cleansed my lungs from what kept away from feeling in place with myself. Lips...